Monthly Archives: November 2005

Today, at approximately 5:00pm, my great-grandma, Mrs. Ruth Robison, passed away at 98 years of age.  An amazing woman, who lived an even more amazing life…

I had an awesome Thanksgiving break.  I spent it with my grandparents and uncle, on the Kietzer side of the family; who all live near Fort Hood, TX (about an hour north of Austin).  

Wednesday:
My uncle came to Austin to pick me up Wednesday evening in his new trial truck, compliments of the car dealership he works at.  After a stop for dinner, at a Mexican place on the way, we ended up at his place around 10:00pm.  He lives out in the middle of nowhere, on a bunch of land, with two really cool dogs and a horse.  We hung out for a few hours, talking about what we’ve been up to; which was really nice since I don’t get the chance to see him too often.  I slept at his place that night.

Turkey Day:
We woke up around 10:00am.  My grandparents came over around 12:00.  We all talked, laughed and had a great time.  We walked/drove around my uncle’s property gathering pecans for a little while; that was fun and entertaining for the dogs too.  We started cooking around 5:30ish; steak on the grill, lobster in the broiler, baked potatoes on the grill, and corn on the stove.  It was a glorious meal, with some really good steaks too.  My grandparents left that night and I headed to bed.  It’s so amazingly quiet out there too; a welcomed change from this dorm room.

Friday:
Friday my uncle had to work, so I went with him in the morning and he dropped me off at my grandparent’s house.  I’ve always enjoyed visiting my grandparent’s place; it’s amazing just how perfect their retirement lifestyle is.  There wasn’t too much to do, which was fine seeing how I wasn’t looking for a thrill-seeker vacation anyways.  My and my grandpa walked their dogs that morning; up and through the country club to see my grandma, who is an avid golfer.  The three of us hung around the house for the remainder of the day.  Dinner was my grandma’s stew, which was awesome, and some cornbread.  I went to bed early.

Saturday:
By my grandparent’s schedule, I kind of slept in Saturday morning.  For breakfast we had “breakfast pork chops”; something new for me; and despite my distaste for pork, including pork chops, which was multiplied the fact that I was eating pork for breakfast, I ate well.  The rest of the day was a lot like Saturday; a good break from my usual routine down in Austin.  My uncle dropped by around 3:30 and we went deer hunting; out on my grandpa’s land.  Deer hunting was also a new experience for me; despite my somewhat country-like upbringings.  We didn’t have any luck though, and went home empty handed.  We went out for Mexican food that evening…delicious…

Sunday (today):
My grandparents took me back to Austin, and we arrived on campus around 12:30.  I showed them my dorm, and where I live; I think they were impressed, especially with how clean my room was.  They left shortly afterwards, I unpacked my dirty clothes, and then went for a bike ride in the awesome November weather we’ve been having.  I wasted the rest of the day, met up with some friends a little later, and had dinner at Jimmy John’s.

All in all, it was a great four day weekend.  I wish my parents and brother would have been around though…  Oh well, the winter break is coming up soon and we’ll all be back in England together…fun fun…with a little cold added in…

Happy (belated) Turkey Day everyone…

I crashed my bike…again…second time in one week.  Maybe the next time I walk outside a meteor will fall out of the sky, and consequently hit my right hip as soon as my new road rash starts to heal; my luck is just that good.  So what happened?  Friday is our “Shoal Creek Shootout”; a few casual laps around the Shoal Creek loop with two or three sprints in between.  There were six or seven of us out there this time.  We were winding up to start our first sprint; things started to speed up and get a little more serious.  The seven of us were going along when two came off the back to start the excitement, leaving one other guy behind me.  So he jumps off my wheel to catch the back of the two guys who just went by us…unfortunately he jumped way, way to hard…  He ended up hitting the person in front of him (who luckily didn’t fall); taking himself down in the process.  When a rider goes down about a foot in front of you at 25 mph there isn’t too much time to react.  I hit his bike, went over the handlebars, did a sideways flip in the air, and came down on my back, right elbow, and the almost healed right hip…  My bike is ok; the guy that fell in front of me, his bike is ok; but the guy who stayed on two wheels, his bike is trashed.  The guy who took me down got some road rash here and there, and I got a lot of new road rash and ripped open the old road rash in the process.  Are you seeing the trend?  I think I’m still kind of pissed off; I guess I just can’t see how someone could just plow into another rider’s bike like that…seems irresponsible…especially when you’re riding in a group.  Oh well…  I’ll be healed up in a week or so, buy a new tire, some new bar tape, and some new gloves; and start it all back up again.  My non-cyclist friends tell me I’m crazy; they just don’t understand.  My cyclist friends are some of the nicest people I’ve ever met though. Everything from the first aid offers and advice to the ride home yesterday; it’s all very, very appreciated.

So, besides crashing my bike whenever I get the chance, I’ve had a pretty good week.  Thursday and Friday I had a Portuguese test and an archaeology test; the latter I think I did much better on than the first.  The weather took a turn towards normality this week; a little cold for my tastes, but still not too bad.  But that’s about all that’s new with me.  I’ve been taking it easy for the most part, trying to heal up from Monday’s spill; I guess I’ll be taking it easy for a while longer now…  Good for you seeing how I’ll be writing more, but bad for me seeing how my bike is sitting beside me…tempting me…teasing me…and if I sit here any longer…speaking to me…

Eventful weekend…  The SWBOBT (Sweatin’ Burnt Orange Bike Tour) went well.  A bunch of us got into Blanco around 9:00pm Saturday night.  Leadership was a little unorganized, which is understandable; but we got a lot done anyways.  Around 12:00 that night we headed out to set up the course, with signs and painted arrows on the road.  That was tiring, and we finally ended up back at the tents around 3:30am.  But there was work to be done, so there wasn’t much time for sleep; the unpleasant wakeup call came at 6:30 that morning.  We barely got our rest-stops set up in time for the racers; our truck actually passed the main bunch of riders on our way to my rest-stop…we were hauling ass…  Everything worked to our favor in the end; with no major problems during the race.  My brother came to visit Sunday afternoon; that was cool, just wish I had a few more hours sleep.  Yesterday afternoon I went riding with Vanessa.  It was a really nice ride at first; but at the half-way mark (half-way because we turned around afterwards) I got a little too friendly with the pavement…  There was a nice corner, not too sharp though, right after a small downhill.  Any other day, with a decent road surface, I could have taken that corner at speed with no problems; but there was water and gravel in the road, the rear tire went out instantly, and I went sliding…  I didn’t end up too bad; some nasty road rash on my right hip and some more road rash with a few deeper gashes on my elbow.  Last night I was picking pebbles out of my elbow wound with my pocket knife; I’m a beast…  Today’s situation doesn’t feel too good though; with some swelling and some bruising and what not.  The bike didn’t get beat up too bad either; seeing how I was under it most of the time…  My beautiful handlebar tape is a little torn up, and there’s a few scrapes on the brake lever and on my expensive saddle.  Oh well…shit happens…  I figured I’d give things a day or two to heal, and then I’ll make my triumphant return to cycling.  That’s about all that’s new for me.  I have a ridiculous paper to write by the 21st so I guess I should get a start on that one instead of writing on this one…  

I don’t see her anymore.  And if I think I do I usually put my head down and pretend like I didn’t.  Still running I guess; that’s what I do best.  We’re like little kids…oh well…

It astonishes me when I think about just how many new friends I’ve made this semester; from the cycling club, from my classes, from random encounters at my coffee shop, etc.  “I discard my friends to change the scenery.”  (The Smashing Pumpkins)  One in particular in my situation, and my surroundings couldn’t have changed more.  Is this what I wanted?  Debatable…  The sudden lack of fixation and dependence on one individual has definitely opened my eyes to a lot of opportunities I would have otherwise overlooked.  But I still loved what I had.  Lots of memories not easily forgotten…

I’m still stuck in the middle despite the fact that I know there’s no chance left for anything more.  It’s a strange sensation being pulled in two directions at once…  And I wish I wasn’t so I could chase the new opportunities whole heartedly.  It’s hard to explain; hard to put into words.  

This week is wearing me down.  I can’t wait for the weekend.

I’m going camping this weekend in Blanco, for the UTCC (University of Texas Cycling Club) Sweatin’ Burnt Orange Bike Tour.  We’re leaving Saturday afternoon to set up the course, camping that night, and running the show on Sunday.  I can’t wait…  After my test tomorrow, I’m not touching a book until Monday.  I get to see my brother this weekend; that should be cool too.

Last night I met these two guys from Spain at the coffee shop.  One of them actually lived near my house in England for a few years…  Talking to them made me want to leave here; more than you could ever imagine…  I guess once you’ve had a taste of life outside the American cultural bubble you’re hooked for life.

Man, my mind is all over the place right now…I think I should stop typing before I say too much…

I’m so tired of always guessing.  It seems like everything I do and everything I’m associated with doesn’t have a clear answer, a clear solution, or, in most cases, both.  Sure, to an extent it makes life more exciting, but just one time I’d like to be confident about where something’s taking me.  I’ve been wrong about something more times than I care to remember, and, depending on the situation of course, it really isn’t that bad.  But leading up to the decision; that’s killer.  All I want, just one time, is to not have to think and ponder something before I act on it.  

It’s indecisiveness; that’s my biggest weakness.  The little things; where to eat tonight, what I’m going to wear, etc; those are easy for me…no indecisiveness there.  But the big decisions; well, I hope you’re patient.  Honestly, if you all really knew just how much effort I put into the decisions I make you’d definitely think I was insane.  I’ve come to the conclusion, by way of yet another long and drawn out thought process, that it really does no good.  Certain decisions should be the result of natural feelings, and very little of anything else.  Some things are just not meant to be analyzed, and can’t be analyzed; but over and over again I find myself wasting away trying to do just that…over and over and over again…  

So here are the options: throw myself at every woman I meet, keep waiting, or become a priest.  Numbers one and three are the easy ways out; but number two….number two isn’t as simple as it sounds…  I guess I like the challenge; that’s the reason I ride a bike, the reason I take upper-division classes when lower-division ones will satisfy the same requirement, and the reason why I open the door myself instead of pressing the wheelchair access button…I just can’t get enough of making my life harder than it really needs to be.  Option number one would be so easy too; probability plain and simple; and it’s ever so tempting.  But where’s the class, where’s the style?  Option two, despite its difficulty, it definitely where it’s at.  I want to hold out for that one person; that one person that makes me melt inside the first time I look into their eyes…and let that feeling begin our relationship.  Not the other way around; a sloppy relationship where I’m always hoping and wishing that feeling will eventually come over me.  Yeah, number two is definitely what it’s all about…

It’s the relationship part that gets me every time though, and it’s where the indecisiveness comes into play.  Sure, I’ll take risks with little chance for a successful outcome, but it takes me so damn long to get to the point of actually carrying out the act and the opportunity passes me by.  Time and time again…  

And gods forbid that I find someone who actually feels the same way as I do when they look into my eyes.  That’s just too much to ask…

Just once, that’s all I want and that’s all I’ll need.  Just once I want everything to be perfect; no drawn out thought process, no sloppy relationships, no celibacy; just a perfect and unwavering connection between me and someone else…  Maybe I’ll get lucky soon…

Wednesday was great…  My classes were actually worth going to for once; well except for Ancient Egypt, because I didn’t go.  I had a test in Portuguese that I was really well prepared for; so hopefully I did good on that one too.  We’re starting to get out of the intro to biology stuff in my physical anthropology class…thank god…  After class, I installed my new bike speedometer/odometer/etc and went for a ride in this amazing weather we’ve been having lately.  That night I went out with some friends of mine from the cycling club.  We went to Double Dave’s, had a few beers (yeah, I’m definitely over 21), and just hung out for a while and had a good time.  It was a lot of fun, and a good way to unwind from all the school work I’ve been doing lately…  But unfortunately for me, I now have to get back to work…but it’s almost the weekend…almost…

More to come…