Monthly Archives: August 2009

Jump

Life has been keeping me occupied, just as it should be.  I’ll start with Friday.  I was working all day, but in that night was a going away party for three of my coworkers who were moving on to greener pastures.  Work parties have a bad reputation of being quite lame, that is unless a brave soul takes responsibility for getting drunk and foolish.  So I got drunk and foolish…  We shut down the bar, then headed down the road to the Lamar Pedestrian Bridge.  I’d watched people jump off it before, so I knew it was [relatively] safe, maybe a 30 or 40 foot fall.  Before I could give myself a chance to change my mind, I climbed over the edge and jumped off.  You only live once.

After Friday night’s craziness, I took it easy for the rest of the weekend…

Things have been good for me lately.  My very good friend, Carolina, is back in Austin and beginning to settle into the real world again.  We finally tracked one another down on Thursday last week, had a few beers and tried to summarize our two very different summers away from each other.  Jerry and I have settled into our little blue East Austin house quite well too – thanks to a quick road trip to Boulder, CO last week, our house is now properly stocked with furniture and cool yoga props.

I went climbing with Carolina this morning.  My body is probably 90% recovered from hitting the water below the Lamar bridge, and my partner had been away from climbing for a solid three months, so we didn’t do anything too difficult.  I did lead a 5.9 that I know inside out from following on top-rope.  Believe it or not, I think that’s my hardest lead to date, despite being able to get up most stiff 5.10s.  I guess that’s what happens when you constantly climb with people much better than you…  Carolina got back in the swing of things surprisingly quickly.  I know she’ll be back to her previous form in a few weeks.

We christened my new rope this morning.  I picked up a Petzl Fuse 9.4 on super-clearance at REI, splitting the rope and the cost with my frequent climbing partner, Ryan.  Now I have a skinny, compact and lightweight 35 meter rope for toting around Austin.  After our lovely little climbing trip, we headed back to the house to finish off the pasta I made last night.  I couldn’t have had a better morning.

Ging

I went climbing on Monday at a new location on the greenbelt, a wall called Kingdom of Ging.  The routes are all 5.10b and up – just at the upper limit of my climbing abilities.  The wall itself is perched above a pretty large overhang.  To get to the first bolts, one must jump to a 7′ high ledge, throw a heel up, do a one-armed pull-up, and throw the opposite hand to the next small hold.  I’ve never done anything quite so physical.

So Ryan and I walked to the middle of the wall, saw a line of bolts that looked good, and threw the rope underneath.  He briefly walked towards his bag to check the guide book, but then hesitated and turned back around.  He said it’d be more exciting if we didn’t know the difficulty rating.  Ryan tied into the rope, and jumped up to the ledge.  You can imagine doing the sequence of moves I just described on lead, ten feet off the ground, with no protection – just little old me standing on the ground underneath with my arms in the air, waiting to shove him away from the rocks and into the sand in the event he did fall.

There were some nervous moments, but he did manage to get to the first bolt unharmed.  The second crux move of the route was above the fourth bolt, immediately below the anchors.  A big bulge, with tiny holds and lots of balance.  Ryan took four big (15+ feet) falls at the crux before calling it off; then Rami decided to give it a go.  Rami had been away from real rock for over a month, and was pretty unsure of himself, but looked in total control as he floated over the crux and clipped the chains.  We did two other routes on the wall then called it an afternoon.  It was sloppily done, but we managed to log some good 10d and 10b climbs.

The day after I felt like I’d broken a few ribs on my right side.  I never realized I had muscles in between them.

Disconnect

I was up early this morning, just before sunrise.  I usually wake up early on my own, but not quite that early.  I was shaken, not by loud noises or garbage trucks, but by a strange dream I don’t know how to make sense of.  I never remember my dreams, or if I even have them, but this morning’s was so vivid and so pointed at my core that I couldn’t close my eyes afterwards.

I have a lot on my mind these days.  Chemo therapy has just started to burn away my grandmother’s hair, and it’s incredibly tough to know she’s going through the whole process.  My mother is having a hard time with it all.  They’re pretty close to one another.  Earlier this month one of my most highly regarded friends and Texas 4000 teammate lost his mother, also to cancer.  It shook me pretty hard.

I try to use my hyper-active lifestyle to mask over these things.  It works pretty well.  I go to bed tired, and quickly fall into a deep sleep.  My mind doesn’t have a lot of time to wander.  When it does wander, it usually goes towards thoughts of inadequacy and negative realizations.  My day job couldn’t be further from what I know in my mind I should be doing.  My actions are failing to match my ideals.  I don’t feel good about it.

In my dream I was sitting in a hospital watching a young woman pull out fists full of hair.  I ran out the back door, and just as I saw myself putting my head in my hands to cry, I woke up.  The young woman could have been any one of my friends, or any one of my family members.

I’m going to make a radical change in my life very soon.  I can’t let my thoughts and my actions remain disconnected any longer.

Incredible

I’m Back

I had been away from rock climbing for almost three weeks – all of my regular partners were either injured, tired, or had conflicting schedules.  Relying on a partner is one of my favorite parts of the sport; the shared responsibility for one another really binds two friends together in ways most non-climbers never experience.  But on the flip-side, the necessity for a partner can really limit your ability to get out on the rock, as I was obviously experiencing.

I was lying in bed on Friday morning, maybe 8:00am, when my phone started ringing.  Ryan and I both had to work at 1:00pm, and he was calling to see if I wanted to squeeze in a few hours of climbing beforehand.  I was groggy, had errands to run that morning, and had to decline.  I hung up the phone and jumped in the shower, but something just wasn’t right.  My errands could wait – I needed to climb.  I turned the water off, grabbed my phone, and 20 minutes later I was out my door to meet Ryan.

We went to our usual spot, and warmed up on our usual routes.  I was feeling surprisingly fluid for being away from things for so long.  Ryan wanted a workout and we didn’t have much time, so we moved on to something more difficult.  He red-pointed Lonesome Dove (5.12a roof), making it look easy.  Apparently he was feeling good as well after his extended absence.  Before the roof, Lonesome Dove is Diving for Rocks (5.10d), and he told me I had to try it.

The crux move of the route is a huge dynamic move from two awkward pockets in the rock to a big ledge.  A fully committed jump upwards.  The first time I attempted the move, I was maybe half an inch short on my jump.  The guys watching me said it was the closest they’ve ever seen anyone get on their first try.  Second try I grabbed the ledge with inches to spare, my hands on solid rock and my feet dangling in the air.  Too cool.  The rest of the route was pretty labor intensive, but not too difficult.  I felt good to make it to the top, jumping back into the climbing world in good style.

Late Weekend Update

I wanted to write about last weekend sooner, but alas, it’s already Wednesday, and I’m just as close to the upcoming weekend as I am to the previous one…  The Sweet & Twisted Triathlon was a success.  I left Austin at 5:00am with Josh, an REI coworker from our North location (and Seattle shortly before that), and we arrived out at Pace Bend State Park around 6.  Early morning!  There was a pretty steady stream of triathletes at the park entrance already, and I could definitely sense a busy morning coming on.  As soon as we parked, we found Eli, who camped out the night before and had our tent all set up and ready to go.

Eli was pumping up bike tires by headlamp when we found him, and I quickly pulled on my own headlamp and set up shop next to him.  Lots and lots of pumping.  Events like this triathlon (all women’s sprint triathlon) provide an incredibly accessibly entry into the sport for a ton of people, but accessibility typically correlates to inexperience as well.  We joked about the nature of showing up to a race with 30psi in your tires…I still don’t quite understand the logic…  As the only bike tech support for the race (500+ women), we kept pretty busy, but all our problems were simple ones.  Not knowing how to operate quick releases on the front wheel (after pulling the bike out of the car), tire issues, minor shifting issues, and bar-end plugs.  That was the extent of it.

Transition closed at 8:00am, meaning we couldn’t touch any bikes after that point.  For the rest of the morning, we sat around talking to bored husbands as they waited for their wives.  The roll reversal – men with kids in strollers waiting, while their partners labored in the distance – was pretty amusing.  And, of course, for a guy playing bike mechanic in a sea of 500 women, my role wasn’t immune.  There were certainly good sights out there, but on the flip side, I also learned who buys the XXL lycra cycling shorts.  Some things you just can’t un-see.

I’m slowly settling into the new house.  The little things – how to close the door without it squeaking, the sharp parts of the hardwood floor to avoid, the heating and cooling patterns, the distances to important things when navigating in the dark…  We’ve been working on a few landscaping projects, and cleaning up the outside of the house a bit.  It’s all really starting to come together, and I’m quite happy with it all.  Even better, I’ve been on my bike every single day since moving.  You have no idea how much those two wheels help to preserve my sanity.

Space

My thinkpad has been acting up for the past few days.  I run a fairly complex and customized installation of Arch Linux – Linux without training wheels.  When things are working properly, it’s by far the fastest, most secure and most intuitive OS one can work with; but when things go wrong, it can easily spiral out of control, leaving you troubleshooting and grasping at difficult solutions.  To make a geeky story short, I was to the point of grasping at difficult solutions.  Everything seemed to be going wrong.  I hoped it was just a bad package, so I updated my software.  That just made it worse.  Soon I couldn’t run any graphical interface without logging in as root.

So I dug around my file system, but couldn’t do anything in the root partition.  Partition full?  Really?  Apparently my package manager – the program that updates the OS – doesn’t automatically clean up after itself.  I had multiple gigs of unnecessary things overflowing in my most needed partition.  Opps.  One command later, 4 GB was free; one reboot later, everything was back to normal.  It was like my OS had schizophrenia – a true Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde moment.

I woke up with the sun this morning.  Last night I was entertaining the idea of an early morning bike ride, but I just wasn’t feeling it this morning.  Instead I pulled on my running shoes and walked out my front door.  My new house is just a few blocks from town lake, making the morning run an appealing proposition.  I ran on the trail for maybe an hour, and sat near the water for a little while on my way back home.  It was a pretty peaceful start to the day.

Things are settling into place really well at the new house.  I love, love, love the location and the neighborhood.  I’m commuting everyday on my bike again; the trip is short enough that I can usually get where I need to be before I start sweating profusely.  In the evenings I’ll open up the windows and doors, letting in the cooler air.  There’s so much positive energy in the house.

I have a busy weekend ahead of me.  I’m working for REI at the Sweet and Twisted Triathlon on Sunday (bright and early), and hope to squeeze in some time for climbing before work on Saturday.

One final note, a huge congratulations goes out to the 2009 Texas 4000 team.  Today they roll into Anchorage, AK – the last finish line in their 4000+ mile journey.

Home

Yesterday I moved residences.  In the past three months, I’ve gone from 78722 (Central/North/East), to 78745 (way down South), and now have finally landed at 78702, as “Central East Austin” as one can get.  There’s just something about this new house that feels like home.  In the three months in my last residence, I never unpacked a single box – they lived sealed up, neatly stacked in my closet.  Yesterday I unpacked everything.  Everything.  Clothes are hanging in my closet, my bookshelf is fully stocked, and my dishes are stacked on the kitchen shelves.  It all just feels right.

I’ve spent the night in a lot of places, and I’ve lived in a lot of houses, but I still can’t easily say what makes them feel like home.  It’s not a sense of security; my last apartment was in a rough area and barely had locks on the door, but for the two years I lived there, it was definitely home.  It’s not housemates or family; my parent’s current house has never felt like home to me, nor did my last house shared with two good friends.  Location has to factor in somewhere, but some of my most inviting homes have been tents pitched in the woods, away from everything.

The only explanation I can offer is that the sense of home can only be understood as a complex interaction between personal context, physical space, and state of mind at the given time.  I won’t even begin to analyze that in depth here, but this little blue house on the eastside is the perfect match for me right now.  I’m exactly where I need to be.

Little Blue House

Happy.  Yesterday, after our yoga class, I cruised with Jerry (my yoga instructor) over to East Austin to check out his/our house.  It is the quintessential “cute little house on the eastside.”  Old, small, blue, and rustic – a house with just the right balance of character and class.  The backyard is massive, and old trees keep most of the lot in the shade during the day.  The hardwood floors look like they’ve been walked on for a long, long time.  The plants outside have been spreading their roots for quite a while too, and we’ll be planting quite a bit more in the next few months.

Jerry and I hung out for a few hours at the house, talking about life, future plans, travels, and how much we’re both going to love being back in East Austin.  I’ll be moving some stuff in this weekend…

So, with a new key to my dream house on my key-chain, I was having a pretty awesome day.  Then later in the evening I got to talk to Carolina, which was just icing on the cake.  She’s two days past Whitehorse, YT – where the Rockies gang joined up with the Sierra kids – and is still having a good time on the road.  The last 10 days to Anchorage are tricky times – the body is exhausted, you finally start thinking about the end of it all and going back to real life, and on top of all that, you’re forced to adapt to the drastic changes in daily routine that the extra riders bring.  It sounded like she’s getting through things without too much trouble…

It’s pretty much September right now, which means it’s practically fall time.  I don’t really care that it’s 106 outside of this window right now.

Moving Again

I used to think days off should include a little rest and relaxation, allowing the body to recuperate from whatever woes may be wearing it down – work, a lack of sleep, etc.  It seems that lately though, mine have taken an opposite turn; if I don’t use my time away from work to climb all day, go for a long bike ride, or take a trip somewhere, I feel cheated.

So today for my day off I climbed.  My housemates and I headed out to Reimers Ranch in the not-too-early morning.  I feel like mornings are getting cooler around here, and since that cool air seems to stick around a little longer, I didn’t mind the 8:30 departure.  By the time we got to the base of our cliff, the wind was blowing at us and we were climbing in the shade.  Perfect.  We climbed a handful of shorter routes, each with a handful of fun problems, then wandered through the bushes to climb two routes Ryan found [pissed near] on my last trip to the ranch.

I love climbing.  I’m becoming so much more comfortable on the rock, and also on lead.  When I first started leading, I would fumble with my quick-draws and on getting the rope into the carabiner.  Now the motions are getting smoother.  The skin on my fingers is getting rougher, and my feet are getting sticker.

I’m moving back to the eastside much sooner than later, and I’m bubbling with excitement.  My friend/co-worker/yoga instructor owns a little house in the heart of East Austin, about two miles south of my last apartment.  Walking distance to everywhere I want to be, and fixie distance to everywhere I need to be.  It’s definitely an ideal match for my lifestyle.

In probably not more than a month, one of my partners in crime will be back in Austin.  I’m bubbling with excitement about that too.  We’ve had a chance to chat a little bit the past few nights, and they’re all doing great.  I miss her, but I’m really proud of what she’s doing at the same time.  My grand-mother was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, had surgery a few weeks ago, and just started chemo treatments a few days ago.  It’s such a god-awefully nasty process.  She’s helping my grandma and millions of others fighting cancer – I’ll put up with missing her for a little while longer.

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