Monthly Archives: February 2010
Improvement
February has filled my life with good surprises. 2010 has been a remarkable year for me so far; good things and exciting experiences just keep flowing in my direction. I’m honestly feeling happier than I ever have before, accompanied by an odd feeling of completeness and fulfillment. For the first time, I’ve lost the impulse to run away on my own and start a new life – things are how I want them to be here and now.
I climbed last week; on Wednesday with Carolina at Reimers Ranch, and on Thursday at the greenbelt with Carolina, John, my good friend Norene (from NY), and my friend Spencer. I still can’t believe how drastically my strength has changed in the last month or so. Problems that used to be really difficult for me are becoming almost easy. It’s giving me a consistent feeling of improvement that I think everyone needs in their life, in one way or another.
My little blue house on the eastside is filled with so much love and positive energy right now. C and I have been super active in the kitchen, keeping the house smelling good around the clock. I love learning new dishes and new cooking techniques from her. We hosted our gang of hungry climbers on Thursday evening. C put together some amazing chili rellenos and mexican rice, alongside my black beans and John’s guacamole. Under the glow of the moontower, we feasted and laughed in the backyard around the campfire.
Despite my total happiness, In the back of my mind, I know that things can’t stay the way they are now forever. The settings that make my world amazing will be changing sooner or later. And that’s fine, that’s life. But there’s an odd and new comfort that goes along with that feeling too. I’m confident and comfortable with the idea of change because of one constant thing. I know that the one connection to the one person that makes my life wonderful won’t be changing anytime soon.
Luck
I was scheduled to leave work yesterday at 5:00pm. Equipped with headlamps, we were hoping to squeeze in a few hours of evening climbing. I hadn’t been out in quite a while, and my fingers were itching for a workout. 4:00pm. The sky turns dark, the wind kicks up, and the temperature drops like a rock into a puddle. Just my luck. I know I shouldn’t make excuses, and that I should jump at every opportunity to climb regardless of the conditions, but there was no way our plans yesterday were going to happen. (Seriously, I need to stop complaining.)
Bad luck in one frame of mind turned into good luck in another. C and I have been flirting with the idea of reclaiming perishables thrown out by our local supermarkets. Grocery stores throw out incredible amounts slightly imperfect but still very edible food, and if you know the right places and the right times, paying money for food stops making much sense. We dropped by a [notoriously] bountiful dumpster yesterday afternoon, and found a gold mine of fresh produce and bread. The two of us grabbed a box full of mangos, red bell peppers, cucumbers, an apple, a few tomatoes, some oats, and four loaves of french bread.
In the heat of the moment, you don’t really have time to inspect your picks too thoroughly, but we only grabbed a few inedible items. It’s not really a big deal for our house anyways, as rotten veggies just make the compost richer. After a good washing, we crafted a fantastic dinner from our day’s harvest. And, with the exception of a few condiments, a fantastic free dinner.
The past three weeks have kind of been a whirlwind of new sensations for me. A raw intensity and burning attraction to another. I never saw it coming, but now that the dust is starting to settle, I think I’ve discovered a new level of happiness. I’m a lucky guy.
Mom and Dad
My family came to Austin this weekend – Mom & Dad, my brother Nick, his wife Danah, and my [still new] niece Emily. A pretty full carload of warm bodies, to say the least. They all had relatively free weekends, and decided to take a little road trip. Austin is always a good destination. I’ve developed a comfortable distance from my parents in the past few years. Personal growth and development requires new connections and experiences; I’ve found my own, and I hope they have too.
In the eighteen years that we shared under the same roof, my parents taught me so much, and I’m not talking about the immediately obvious. Still today, my mom and dad remain as my role models for a healthy, sustainable and loving relationship. Of course they’re not perfect, but I think it’s quite clear that they’re perfect for each other. In the last few weeks, I’ve been exploring new levels of comfort and intimacy in another’s arms. It gives me confidence knowing that I have such a fantastic example to follow.
Seeing my brother these days, with a little one in his arms and another one 7 months away, really puts things into a new perspective. Yet again, I’m especially glad we have such a great example to work from. My parents gave my brother and I the gift of a nearly perfect childhood, doing everything in their power to guide us in the right direction. If he can only follow a tiny bit of their example, I know his kids will develop into remarkable people. More reassuringly, I know the day that I finally settle down and start making my own little ones, I’ll gain a new appreciation for all this too.
Yesterday morning, over a fantastic breakfast, I introduced Carolina to my parents. It was a happy moment for me; she’s the first girlfriend of mine to take this step with me, which says a lot about my complete and total comfort in her company. On the topic of personal growth through new connections, her and I together is probably the best example for my parents to see. I know that they have a fairly limited view of the life that I live, but I try to give them little glimpses that I’m going in the right direction every once in a while…
Ink
I walked into the shop, and was greeted by pounding death metal and a rough looking guy with tattoos on his shaved head. We yelled over the speakers, and soon he called out Steve Byrne from the office in the back. When I told my friend Dean I was wanting a tattoo, he told me I had to check out Steve’s artwork, and I was sold from that moment on. Steve had a casual but professional demeanor that clicked with me, and after a quick chat explaining what I wanted, I left with an appointment for the following Saturday evening.
Three days ago, after a long day at work, C and I headed back to his studio at Rock of Ages. It was finally going to happen; the tattoo I had been thinking about for over a year was going to become real. I was nervous enough to forget my design sketches at home, and almost get us lost on the way over. When we arrived, with the design on the iPhone in hand, Steve got right to work. He seemed to have a vision for my design before I had to tell him. Glancing at the phone, and working with the lines and curves of my arm, he set each star with perfect spacing on my skin. So impressive.
And then the needle started going, and my heart started beating a little faster. C made me feel comfortable despite my circumstances, and I chatted a lot with Steve about the meaning of the tattoo, my time in the UK (where he’s from), and our worldly travels. It didn’t feel quite as bad as I expected going on, and a lot of memories came flooding back to me as it went on. 45 minutes later it was done. Perfectly.
We bounced around Austin, joining our friend and T4k teammate Miguel while he got a similar design inked on his bicep. Then it was Carolina’s turn. Her’s is probably my favorite of the three, placed beautifully under her left ribs, giving the lioness some company. She squeezed my hand while it was going on, and I was reminded why she’s such a good rock climber. The three of us made it back to my house around 11:30pm, and found the campfire crackling in the backyard and a handful of good friends waiting for us. The day couldn’t have been more perfect.
I’ll post some pictures of it all in a few days after the lines have flattened out and healed a bit. I love it, as well as everything in my life right now. Things are finally making sense for this kid.
